Social Caterpillar

I have never been the super social butterfly and I know that but every now and then I think that things are going to be different. Like at the start of the year I told myself that it's a new semester the things that held me back last semester aren't going to hold me back any more. And for the most part that is true. But at the same time it seems like I took a semester of relationships off and I can't get those friendships back. And I know it's all my fault that I forgot to focus on those friendships because I was so absorbed in myself and afraid of going back to the familiarity  of that first semester.

It's like all last semester I was the social cocoon like I made my way so far but I couldn't become the butterfly but rather wrapped myself so tight that no one could really get to me. But somehow I managed to break out of that cocoon and though I am still no butterfly I am at least not suffocating in that stupid casing that kept me away from the world and the world away from me. 

And I know a lot of times I read too much into things and actions that other people do but for some reason I can't help but do that. It just feels like people I was friends with at one point, kinda don't want to deal with me and it isn't a grand feeling. But I don't know how to truly fix it, because it's like the cocoon time completely backtracked my social being here with certain people and for them I am now a brand new caterpillar, and I don't like that.