So I am officially counting down the days until classes start back up next Tuesday and I have seven days before real learning begins again. And it begs the question, with all that has happened in the year 2010, and all that has happened this month, what's next? Truly, I'd like to say only good things will happen but I know if and when I truly stop and think about it, I know times will be hard here and there. However, I think I am ready for the challenge, even though some days may seem extremely challenging, I think I am ready.
"What's next?" the ultimate scary question for anyone and everyone with a thought process, and those that aren't 100% courageous 100% of the time. I admit it, I am a little chicken to know what's to come in this next semester of school, especially knowing that I am beginning classes that will shape my future in the field of elementary education. I am terrified, that I won't be ready and I am also really terrified that somehow I will manage to miss out on something bigger than myself someway somehow.
Over the past week, I have come to accept that I am never in control even though being out of control, scares the snot out of me! But with that acceptation comes the terrifying thought that things will start being more chaotic around me, and I am not sure how or if I will be able to handle that. I know I am not perfect but I can't help but strive for some little bit of ownership in my life. Yet, it's not my life to own. That's what the biggest problem, when you start wondering "what's next?" you start realizing, it's not really up to me.
Good things come, good things go. But I for one am not in control.
Live life, breathe air. Somehow I'll make it there.
Wherever live takes me on this long unending stroll.
I think I am ready, but if I'm not, I'll just grin and bare it.
"...and those that aren't 100% courageous 100% of the time." ----> me.
ReplyDeleteI don't think anyone is ever ALWAYS ready for what's next. If they appear that way, well, they APPEAR that way. No one has it completely together. Those who let Christ carry their burdens and ultimately allow Him to guide them are definitely more secure though. One of my favorite scenes in the Bible is when Jesus is asleep in the middle of the huge storm and His disciples are freaking out!! So, He gets up, stretches, and says, "Hey storm. BE QUIET!" I've always seen it as so symbloic for having peace amidst a storm. That even when everything is crashing around you and you think there's no way out, Jesus is in your boat and has been the whole time! :D