Just one of those hours...

How do I even begin to write down in words all that has been going through my head the past couple of hours or so. It's just crazy all the random thoughts that go through my mind. What's not so crazy though is when I know several of the thoughts aren't doing me any bit of good emotionally, mentally and what not. Why does my mind continue to wander in areas that I know it doesn't need to wander? 

How come life continually tries to beat me down when it shouldn't be? I really have no clue what the deal is, and I am terrified to think that these thoughts are going to flood back again and again just to tear me down. And even then, I am terrified to think that all thoughts are only going to come at the same specific time. Times of worship shouldn't be times of fret and worry and just completely shut down because my mind is going everywhere that it shouldn't. 

I am not strong, I know that. I can't handle a whole lot of things, I definitely know that. But what I don't really know is how I can just have this all stop. Because I know what I need to do, should do, but for some reason the emotions arise every time that I should be doing what I know I need to be doing and it just gets kind of frustrating. And I guess I just really don't know. However I do know this, UGH. And I do know that this is just one of these times where I am just down in the dumps, and that eventually I will be out of it again, like I have before. It's just not so cheery at this particular hour, or so, but soon it will be again, or it better be.   :)