Picture Perfect

So for a while at the beginning of the year something very vain was getting the best of me. It was bothering me to no prevail that I had no pictures that both of us were in. And I don't know how many times the thought ran in my mind that the reason for their being no pictures of us was because I didn't capture pictures of every little moment that we had together. For some reason, just that fact alone would hurt so much that I had no way of seeing who we were together. The truth is however, I never needed a picture. Today I randomly found one. I was so excited for a few minutes but then the rest of the emotions began flooding the picture.

I guess it was for the best that we never were big into pictures, because seeing that one random picture that I never knew was taken almost tore me to pieces. It was that realization of us, it was in the beginning of us. It was hard to see, but almost refreshing to know that I don't have the possibiltiy to feeling that saddness as much as it could've been if every time I looked for a new profile pic, your face would be staring back at me.

I miss you, there is no doubt about that. But I am grateful of what we had and didn't have. I am grateful that I was just able to know and talk with you. Times have gotten easier for me and I don't want that to sound terrible like I'm moving on because you will always be a reason for me being the way I am. You will always be apart of me, in my cares, in my reasonings, and even in the football teams I root for. Truth is, I have missed you. Truth is, I know it takes time to heal and that sometimes healing is never 100%. But the biggest truth of all is I know that I have experienced a lot of healing. And I saved the picture.