TJ Maxx Employee

Tomorrow is my first official day at wor ad I am proud to say that  Will look cute. I will be nervous. I will be anxious. I will make mistakes. But I am pumped!

With 4 Minutes!

It's four till midnight but I am not worried. Tonight was fun! In-N-Out  and a lot of Spanish equals a great night with some wonderful people!

RED DEAD REDEMPTION

For those that know me pretty well, you know that I am not that big of a video gamer. However there are a few games that I love every now and then. Today I have been reintroduced to the game red deaf redemption and it is by far one of my favorite games for console.

Emotions

It's crazy the number of emotions that a person can go through within a few days. And I must say, I have experienced a whole lot these past few days. I really don't know how but I do know that I have some wonderful people in my life and I have had some great life happenings. I am grateful for my life even though there are days where I won't even lie, I get tired of some things.

Tears in Television

Without a doubt there are some tv shows that I have to watch or I feel like I missed something extremely important. Mainly I feel I missed something important because it will be all over facebook and I will be lost, but sometimes I just have to know what follows the cliff hanger.  However what does bother me a lot is when TV brings emotions out of people.

Glee. Yes, Glee, the latest episode made me a tad teary eyed. And there has definitely be some other episodes out there that definitely brought some tears to my lashes. I guess I really don't like it because shows like Glee have so many happy episodes so when a depressing one comes it is almost like a sucker punch to the tear ducts. Things like that just aren't right.

Pump up the Pep!

Tomorrow is a day that will be filled with amazingness! I am going to my first job training and I am thrilled and nervous and pumped!

Acting out of Character

I have decided that somedays I am a really good actress. Somedays I pretend I am perfectly fine and life is wonderful when all the while I am trying to force back the tears. I can say this, for a while everything was fine and dandy even though I started thinking. But ever so slowly the thinking began to take over my emotions and even some dreams.

I am not perfect, I am far from it, and I know that. There are good days and there are bad days. However for some reason I always have that twinge of guilt to admit that I feel as if I am starting to sink into bad days. I know that emotions can be kept in check but mine just seem to veer off to the bad days sometimes. I don't know why, they just do. And I know that this blog is not likely to get found so I feel ok saying it.

Today I cried, and I couldn't help it at all. My mind just went to last year, and January and next thing I know I am attempting to hide the tears from my mother. I feel as though I have to stay strong. I feel like I can't waver. I feel like I should be done having random days where my mind wanders and the tears fall. But of course, it happens. And of course I find myself stuck and not knowing what to do.

Hey, how are you doing?

Running into people that I know and went to school with tonight was pretty odd. It's really odd, especially when we weren't super close in the first place and then as soon as we cross paths you act excited. It's weird honestly. Why do we automatically become buddy buddy now that we have graduated. Is that how our society is supposed to work? Have a fairly large gap between being in the same building and bam, all of a sudden friends from freshman or 8th grade year ask you how life is. It's just weird.

Dream

Dreams can be a crazy thing. They can make the unbelievable come believable just as long as you let it. The as long as you let it, is the tricky part. I hate it when the dreams seem so real until you are taken back to the reality of the matter. And I know I am rambling I get it, but it just bothers me when I wake up and realize that a part of the dream is not even possible.

The truth is, it scares me. The dreams seem so real as all do until I realize while sleeping that something is amiss. And it scares me because it starts to toy with my mind as long as it can. Oh dreams, please be sweet to me. Please allow a simple nights sleep. Please let it be peaceful.

Anti-Love

These days there are so many love songs on the radio and every now and then I think Cee Lo Green has it right the whole time. Hate songs, makes sense to me. Especially when there are people out there that don't break your heart but break your self esteem, self worth, dignity, pride and confidence. People sometimes deserve a bit of Cee Lo Green.

Why do you just make my blood boil? Why do you just make me feel 1 foot tall? Why do you make me hate life? Why do you just make my skin crawl? Why do you just make me want to leave the room every time you enter? Why do you make me hate?

The End of a Resolution

So, blogger did me in yesterday. My resolution died yesterday. I wasn't able to blog but it doesn't mean I am going to stop writing. Quite the opposite. I am to continue writing until my fingers die or until the year is done. However yesterday was not all in vain. I did receive a phone call from a possible place of employment. Needless to say I had my very first job interview today and I think it went well!

Family Games

Family time with the brothers that are home. The internet may be down however the game systems are still playing!

UGh.

I really would like to know what I am going to be doing this summer. At this point, I really am wanting to know if I do have a job offer, or if I have the ability to do some things before the job begins, like if I am going to be able to help VBS or if I need to apply to a billion other places. I am getting a little antsy with all this waiting. I know I haven't applied to a billion places, but I have gotten no feedback at all, and it's kind of frustrating.

Lazy

So, I am really wanting a job, right now I am not going to even lie. These past few days have been fun, having no worries, stress or responsibilities. BUT, I am perfectly fine if that comes to an end! I just feel as if this lazy summer feeling is just annoying, and needs to come to an end. I mean I don't want this feeling of waisting a summer and would really like to do something productive.

Needless to say, Bruno Mars has been my anthem singer for the past few days.

It's an awesome song and a pretty neat video.

And They're Off!

Today, even though it was mother's day, I spent it with my father. Not going to lie, it was nice. We went to Lone Star Park, and watched the ponies run! It was so much fun. I loved it! Watching the horses run, making wagers, hoping and crossing my fingers that my horse would win, deciding that some jockeys were just jerks and made me lose on purpose, and also deciding that I hate the number 7. Needless to say, I really enjoyed it!

Mother's Day (that's tomorrow)

I've said it once, I've said it twice and I will probably say it a billion more times before I die. I love music. And not just for the beautiful melodies or entrancing voices but for all of it. Sometimes the lyrics can seem to fit your precise mood while other times just the meaning of the song can be so powerful that it is unexplainable. For mother's day I decided to make my mom a mixed CD, mainly songs she loved but also I threw on a few songs she didn't know. I put a few on that I thought she would end up liking but then I also placed a song on the CD that simply put exemplified my mom.

The cool thing about songs is that the meanings can be multiple. Though the artist may have an original decision and thought process about what the song means, it can become different for each and every person that listens to it. The song that was my mom happened to be one of those, "She is Love" by Parachute. The song can be meant just for a girl that the band likes, for a person that always stands strong and is there for them or for love in general. Ultimately, it's all up for debate about what the song is about. For me, the song just exemplifies my mom, being there for our hard times in life, staying strong when we are weak, showing us the hope, remaining strong, patient and encouraging.

My mom is one of the most important people in my life. I know it may sound corny or lame to say that or, that I am just saying it because tomorrow is mother's day. However, I say it because it's true. Though our relationship has never been 100% perfect, she still means so much to me. My mom has been here for me through thick and thin. My mom has been an example and a positive role model for all my life. My mom has shown me what a strong godly woman looks like. My mom is wonderful, and I love her dearly. My mother is love.

Dear Mom,
If you are reading this, which more than likely you are, I just want you to know that I love you so much. I am so blessed to have you as my mom. You truly are remarkable and have always been there for me in hard times, and I know you always will be. I am so grateful to have you in my life. You truly are one of a kind, and I am glad that you are my mother. I am sorry for the days where I have/will  misbehave/ be stupid/get on your last nerves/do the wrong things/get mad/or whatever else. I love you mom.
Love, Katie

Philosopher Jagger

As House so eloquently quoted, "Philosopher Jagger once said, 'you can't always get what you want.'" I couldn't help but think, "UGH!!!" Needless to say, "Philosopher Jagger" hits it right on the head, again. I didn't get a part I wanted in the play, I didn't get a part at all, unless you include being on tech crew. However, as House and my brother remind me that's not the end of the world. 

I am still not to happy that I didn't get a role. However I am still going to do it, even though it's not what I was hoping for. There are so many other things that I am thankful for though, so I am not going to let it get to me. 

I won't always get what I want, and I get that. However if I try sometimes, I might just find, that I get what I need. 

Dorm + Home Room

My mom and I unloaded a lot of my stuff that forever resided in my dorm room. My room looks absolutely horrendous there is stuff everywhere including freshly clean clothes and several jam packed bags . It really is a site to see. The act of moving back home seeing all of my dorm life and home life mix together on my floor and  bed and everywhere else.

The Voice

If you have not watched "The Voice" yet, you need to! It is absolutely amazing! So much better than idol because it's not as superficial and the judges are just wanting to help out the contestants! I love it! Must watch!!!! Am watching now!

Finals Week

It has come to my attention that finals week has got to be one of the most confusing and crazy times of year. Well, ok maybe not so confusing as some things but there are some peculiar points to finals. For one thing, finals week stress differs from person to person. For some people they feel as if that one test for that one class will either be the death or life of them. While for others, like myself, they just look at the final and think, hmmm it only counts for so much of the grade and my grade (if its good) won't be that bad. Then of course there are those students who act more like me when they should be thinking, "hmm... I might fail this class."

For me I guess the craziest thing is actually having to get my stuff in gear, and pack. Not going to lie, it's kind of bizarre realizing that I won't be here for quite a few months. It is also kind of bitter sweet to say goodbye to the icebox of #228. Kind of strange just realizing that a whole entire year of college is over and a new year awaits me. I must admit it is also weird knowing tonight is my last night in this bed. But at the same time it's refreshing. There isn't one thing that through the course of this school year I would change in a heartbeat. I laughed, cried, got stressed out, screamed, and lived.

The thing about finals week ultimately is not about the tests, but being able to realize that this is the final week of the semester, of the year, of your college life thus far. Finals week: a time to reflect how far you've come and have no regrets.

The Audition

It began merely by a simple drift of conversation in Mims auditorium, the words fall show managed to linger in my ear. Excited, I asked the ultimate question, "What is the show?" The answer I received was South Pacfic.  The news I did not expect to hear however was that auditions themselves were just around the corner, the first day of finals week to be exact.

I searched high and low, near and far and almost everywhere in between to find a piece of music that I would audition with. It wasn't until after several texts and listening to several songs did I finally make the decision to sing, "Show Me" from My Fair Lady.

The audition process began at 4:30, and one by one we entered the choir room and began to sing our selection. Once we were done we were allowed to do whatever our hearts desired but we had to promptly return at 5:30 for the dance portion.

There were a lot of people there, I truly wasn't expecting as many as there were. So the dance portion of the auditions were pushed back until 6:00, and once it began it all went downhill. The dance portion was going to only be a little bit of learning it and then turning around and performing it for directors, and if that wasn't nerve racking enough, I have no profound dancing ability what so ever.

We spend about 15 minutes learning the steps in which I continuously make minor mistakes until the practice and learning is stopped. Then we each were assigned a number 1-31 (or so). The first people to perform would be those numbered 1-5, they would perform in the room in front of the directors and with every other person auditioning watching along the side of the room.

When they called my name I was given the number five. I danced my hardest but at certain points I realized the moves that I were doing were completely wrong. I tried my best but I am not a dancer.

History in the making!

By now, you have probably heard that Osama Bin Laden has been announced dead. It's a crazy thing. I know that it's been ten years since the war began but it's odd to realize that it may soon be over. Not a bad odd but a peculiar odd. Ten years, all may be finished. The sacrifices that brave American men and women made have made such an important impact and will not go unnoticed. A few years ago, when Huessein was executed it was just the first of many steps for a little bit of peace in the Middle East. And though we aren't quite there, things keep lining up to make it become a possible reality.

Technology such as facebook and twitter, helped a lot, all that is popping up in my newsfeed seems to be interlinked. Osama Bin Laden, dead. Though the news has been said, there is still that fear of more war. Though the head has been cut off, we have no promise, but we do have hope. Hope that soon the war will come to an end. Hope that through this death, their will be no new leadership in Al Qaeda, no ability to regain their footing. Today is a day, to be proud of our troops, be proud of our country and be thankful for a God that has been watching out over all who have fought, and for the families who lost loved ones in battle. Today is a day, of thanks and reflection. To realize that we are blessed, and to hope that the MidEast will soon meet and experience peace.