This
If you did not know, which you probably do not, I am no longer in a relationship with a guy that I was so convinced was the one. We broke up before Christmas and I thankfully did not see him over the break because of the fact that my family doesn't live in the same area that I do. I thought the fact that I wouldn't see him over the break was a good thing. Until I realized I would have to come back and he wasn't going anywhere. It hurt. Knowing I was going to have to see him again made me physically sick. And that my friends is how 2016 started, feeling sick and wanting to surrender and leave at any given moment.
But God, reminded me that I did not come and move my life to Houston for a man, but for an opportunity to serve and follow God in the city and neighborhood he gave me a heart for.
If having to see my Ex again wasn't enough, the same month my car broke down in the middle of a turn lane on an access road of a busy highway.
But God, knew it would happen!!! He sent a fantastic marvelous man who I do not know to help me back up my car (literally the only thing it could do) into a parking lot where it would be safer! God put Kaitlyn Vick in my life who's stepdad Termite knows the whole world and allowed them to not only calm my fears but figure out a solution for my car. Then he allowed me buy a car all by myself without a cosigner which was such a huge blessing!
When January was over, I was grateful. I thought February was going to be rough because I was single even though that was not my plan in previous months. However life had other curveballs. On February 13, 2016 I recieved some heart wrenching news that I was not willing to accept. Even now, I find it hard to accept though I know it is truth. One of the most amazing humans that I had such an honor of living life with, went to her forever home on high. Why God allowed for one of the best mentors in my life to be taken away from her boys, her family, her friends, her student, at such a young age, I will never know.
But God, blessed me with that friendship. Blessed me with those 4 amazing years of college being able to witness how amazing life can be lived. He gave me the ability to watch her raise up strong young men. He allowed her to introduce a passion for the Spanish language, a passion I did not expect. God gave me a fortress in human form to run to when college, life, relationships, whatever became to much. Amber Corley was one of the best things about Howard Payne and I will miss her greatly. But I rejoice that she is in a place where there is now sorrow and I rejoice in the fact that I was blessed to have her in my life, even if for too short of a time.
February has not ended and neither has the emotional moments. My heart is aching for family that is finding out their brother had a accident. My heart is breaking for a student I had in my student teaching, who loved his lemur Momo, who just lost his mom. My heart is hurting and at times I know I am just moments away from a breakdown.
But God, in Philippians 4:4 used Paul while he was sitting in jail to write the words, "Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say, Rejoice!" Life sucks sometimes, but God is still on his throne. God is still in control. God is still love. And if you find yourself in heart wrenching seasons of life like I have, its okay to breakdown. God is big enough, and strong enough, and loving enough to bring you through.
And alas, even when life is hard we are given the opportunity to live it. So I say to myself and to anyone who read this whole thing, "Vive tu Vida" live your life. Don't waste it with hate, with fear, with shame, or just plain laziness. Go out and live.
